ski11181

Time for a decision

Wed, 16 May 2007 20:22:01 GMT

I went to see the oncologist today and found out my decision may not be so easy. He is leaning away from surviellance due to the fact that my tumor makers where negative pre surgery. So now I can either go with rplnd or chemo. I am still trying to take it all in. I thought i had my desicion made before seeing the doc today. I am going to take a few days and process it and then try to decide what best suits me. Any advice would be great. I am also waiting on the 2nd pathology report. The first didnt specify vascular invasion or not. So I really cant make a decision until I get that piece of the puzzle.

Screw Cancer

Thu, 10 May 2007 06:31:16 GMT

It is growing with in me.
I am clueless it is there.
Attacking me from the inside.

Will it harm me beyond repair?
Will I suffer like those before?
Will it come face to face with me?

It has no place in my life.
I will not let it control me.
I have already beaten the beast.

Cured?!?!?

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 19:52:43 GMT

So I went to the doctors yesterday and got some good news there is a 80% chance that I am cured. So now I have to decide if I want to do chemo and take care of the 20% chance that I might not be cured or do surviellance which requires going to the doctors every 3-4 months for the next 2 years. If I do surviellance and it comes back then I will have to go the more extensive chemo then what I would have to do now. Tough decision to make well I think I have about a week to decide.

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 18:58:56 GMT

Its been a few days since I have posted anything. I have had alot going on in my head. I am still waiting impatiently to find out what type and stage cancer I have. I find out tomorrow. I am hoping I dont need to have anymore surgery because if I do the next one will require a 3-4 day hospital stay.

In other good news as of Monday I am no longer a married man. It feels good to have that portion of my life done and over with.

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 23:45:33 GMT

I talk to the Doc today and the pathology report came back and it was in fact cancer. I have a ct scan set up for in the morning to find out if the cancer has spread to anywhere else. Thank you to all that have sent me prayers and good vibes. I will update when I know more. I cant wait until tomorrow when I can actually shower.

Alive

Wed, 04 Apr 2007 21:20:50 GMT

I made it out of surgery alive. Still in a lot of pain but what can you expect after having a 5 inch incision. I have to go in for a ct scan in 2 days to find out if the cancer has spread anywhere else. until then I am laid up in the easy chair with nothing to do but watch tv.

Under the knife!

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 03:50:57 GMT

Today I found out the I more then likely have testicular cancer. They wont know for sure until after they remove my left testicle and disect it. It is a mass about the size of ping pong ball. So I am off to the hospital at 7am tomorrow for surgery. After that I will be laid up for about a week so feel free to message me I wont be able to do anything else but lay on the couch.

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:15:25 GMT

Off to see the doctor heres to hoping I get to keep all my body parts.

Falling

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 08:54:02 GMT

The weight of the world bearing down.
Being pulled in every direction.
Trying to fight the negative.

How do I stop the descent?

Can't be far the bottom.
Searching for a way out.
Gasping for air.

When will it come to an end?

Karma seeking revenge.
Paying for sins.
Accepting the hand dealt.

How do I rise again?

Good times

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 05:09:29 GMT

I spent most of yesterday at the doctors and/or the er. The good news is I still have my testicles. The bad news is when they did an ultrasound they found several small masses which could or could not be cancer. I have to go see a urologist this week to learn more. On the bright side I dont remember the last time I have been felt up so much in one day.

Doctors again

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 05:49:51 GMT

Well it seems that the dizziness has gone away with no explanation as to what caused it. A new issue has come up and I am off to see the doc again in the morning. I am having pain in my left testicle and I don't know why. Hopefully nothing serious although it would be kinda cool to have a prosthetic testicle. Anyway enough about my privates. In other news I am crossing my fingers hoping to hear good news from furniture row this weekend. I have been through 2 interviews and should this weekend if I have a new job. I am so ready to get out of the job I am in now. I did find out today that I am getting a raise. A whole whopping 14 cents an hour. I mean come on how is that going to change anyones life. Don't insult me. I would much rather not receive anything at all.

still alive.

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 02:04:52 GMT

Well things haven't gotten any better I am still having dizzy spells. I see the doc tomorrow. Hopefully he can give me some answers.

Dying?

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 20:19:47 GMT

The last couple of days I have been feeling really weird. Spells of weakness where I have felt like I am going to pass out. My left arm having a a dull ache. My vision leaving me for 30 seconds to a minute and a half associated with severe pressure around my eyes. I am going to see the doc on Wednesday hopefully he can shed some light on what is making all this happen.